Richard Nixon – Solutions Are Not Answers
Richard Nixon:
Solutions are not the answer.
Seth Rogen – Stand Up in 1996
The Talking Parrots
A lady approaches her priest and tells him “Father, I have a problem. I have two female talking parrots, but they only know how to say one thing.”
“What do they say?” the priest inquired.
“They only know how to say, ‘Hi, we’re prostitutes. Want to have some fun?’”
“That’s terrible!” the priest exclaimed, “but I have a solution to your problem. Bring your two female parrots over to my house and I will put them with my two male talking parrots whom I taught to pray and read the bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase and your female parrots will learn the joys of praise and worship.”
“Thank you!” the woman responded.
The next day the woman brings her female parrots to the priest’s house. His two male parrots are holding the rosary beads and praying in their cage. The lady puts her two female parrots in with the male parrots and the female parrots say “Hi we’re prostitutes, want to have some fun?”
One male parrot looks over at the other male parrot and exclaims, “Put the beads away, brother. Our prayers have been answered!”
Drew Barrymore – Hugging 10 People At A Time
Drew Barrymore:
I wish I was an octopus so I could hug ten people at a time!
Weekly Recap – 04/13/2009 – 04/17/2009
Videos
Prison Thriller (Video of the Week)
Mega64: Paperboy
LED Art With Sheep
Jason Statham in “Diabetes”
Celebration Fail
Mega64: New Super Mario Bros.
Pictures
Everything Turns To Shit (Picture of the Week)
A Simple Spelling Mistake Makes A Big Difference
The Golf Streaker
eBay
Best Costume Ever
Cats Can Play Wii Fit
Jokes
Magic Mirror (Joke of the Week)
The Camel’s Questions
Got Duck Feed?
Redneck Love
Milk Bath
Finding The Right Lion Tamer
Quotes
Arnold Schwarzenegger – Who Can Have Gay Marriage (Quote of the Week)
Ronald Reagan – Good Explanation of a Hippie
Bob Hope – When Middle Age Occurs
Sacha Guitry – The Perfect Revenge
Paris Hilton – I’m Not Sexual
Demetri Martin – Fruit Baskets Are Special
Video of the Week – Prison Thriller
Picture of the Week – Everything Turns To Shit
Joke of the Week – Magic Mirror
There is said to be a bar in New York where, in the Ladies Room, there is a very special mirror. If you stand in front of this mirror and tell the truth, you are granted a wish. However, if you tell a lie, POOF! you are instantly swallowed up by the mirror, never to be seen again.
A redhead of questionable looks walks into the Ladies Room and stands before the mirror and says, “I think I’m the most beautiful woman in the world.” POOF! The mirror swallows her.
Next, a rather large brunette stands before the mirror and says, “I think I think I’m the sexiest woman alive! POOF! The mirror swallows her.
Then an absolutely gorgeous blonde comes in and stands before the mirror and says, “I think…” POOF! She is swallowed up and is never seen again.
Quote of the Week – Arnold Schwarzenegger – Who Can Have Gay Marriage
Arnold Schwarzenegger:
I think that gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman.

